


Last Chance

by waywardkayoss (wyntereyez)



Series: Salvation [3]
Category: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Genre: F/M, holiday fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-12
Updated: 2001-12-12
Packaged: 2018-10-29 04:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10846740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyntereyez/pseuds/waywardkayoss
Summary: After the events of "Salvation."  Aki and Hein spend their first Christmas together.





	Last Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under the pseudonym LadyKayoss on December 12, 2001. It was written well before "Salvation" was completed, so there may be some continuity issues.

LAST CHANCE

Douglas Hein, former general of the USMF, wondered when death had ceased to be an option for him. He was standing on a catwalk, staring out over the city of Toronto, and for the first time in years his first thought hadn't been about how easy it would be for him to throw himself over the edge and die.

It's all that damn woman's fault. She had cared for him when he'd been lost and vulnerable, and now he couldn't bring himself to hate her. Quite the opposite, in fact.

It was cold out; snow was powdering the buildings, muffling the noise of the bustling city. The chill from the metal rail bit through his gloves, and his breath came out in frosty puffs, but he made no effort to warm himself. Nothing could warm him like Aki's smile, her gentle touches, her stubborn temperament that kept his own in check.

If anyone had told him a year ago he could care for Dr. Aki Ross, Hein would have ordered that person to have their head examined. But now he saw her with two viewpoints: as a hateful general who'd seen his plans fall to pieces at this woman's hands, and as a lonely man who had lost everything and was being offered another chance. His last chance.

You're my last chance at salvation, he'd told her. So why couldn't he make good on that chance? Why was he here on Christmas Eve, looking for a bar where he could get himself hopelessly drunk, as was his tradition?

And why had Aki let him go? Why hadn't she just asked him to stay with her for the holidays? He didn't know how he would have responded, but it was the thought that counted. Maybe it meant she didn't feel about him the way he'd thought she felt.

Hein narrowed his good eye and clenched his teeth. Perhaps she only wanted to make a fool out of him. Then his face fell. Well, he deserved it. He'd done so much to her and Captain Edwards. He didn't blame her if she didn't want him around her and her young son Gray this time of year.

He turned away from the rail and vowed to get drunker than he'd ever been, so he wouldn't remember any of this. He pushed through the crowd with his customary arrogance, noticing how the people sensed his air of authority and moved aside. Not that he had any authority any more. He was as much a civilian now as any of these people.

No, he was far more worthless than any of them. None of them had ever made his mistakes.

As he walked along the sidewalks, he couldn't help but admire Toronto. The city had been a victim of Phantom attacks years ago, before the barriers were first built. It was an attack that had taken Dr. Sid's wife. But the city had decided to rebuild, and was nearly restored to its former splendor. Dr. Sid still had a home here, and had suggested they spend Christmas there, away from it all. Hein knew it was for his sake; there was too much bad blood between himself, the Council, and most of Houston's military forces. But why had Dr. Sid chosen to come to a place with such tragic memories? Hein couldn't imagine returning to live peacefully in San Francisco.

Hein pulled his long black leather trenchcoat closer and sighed. Nothing made sense any more. His life had been dedicated so long to the destruction of the Phantoms the he felt lost without that drive. His life was changing, which was probably why he was trying to take comfort in his familiar ritual of drinking himself into a stupor on Christmas Eve with a bunch of strangers instead of spending a quiet evening getting to know Aki better.

His last chance was his worst enemy. It was funny how his life worked out.

It didn't take Hein long to find a bar; it was the only open establishment on this block. It wasn't surprising, since Christmas was a reminder to many of what had been lost.

The place was crowded with an assortment of customers from all walks of life: well-dressed businessmen were sitting next to scruffy vagrants, all in various stages of getting themselves drunk. There were no smiles anywhere; anyone spending this time of the year in a bar often had little reason to be happy.

Hein found a seat at the bar next to an unconscious drunk. He seated himself and waited a few moments for the busy bartender. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and took in his frozen features. With the eye patch and the slicked-back hair - with the exception of the untamable white lock, which fell over his eye patch - he looked rather frightening.

Was this what Aki saw? Was this why she didn't want him around?

"What'll it be?" the bartender asked, coming to Hein at last.

"I don't care. Something strong," Hein said.

"You got it." The man grabbed a nondescript bottle and a glass, and made ready to pour some. Hein held up his hand.

"Leave it. I'm going to want the whole bottle."

The bartender shrugged. "That's what they all say on Christmas Eve," he said casually.

Hein gave a noncommittal grunt and filled his glass. He wrapped one gloved hand around it, but didn't lift the glass. Instead, he stared at the brown liquid as if fascinated.

The bartender filled another glass for a customer a ways past Hein, then came back to Hein. "Don't like the drink?" he asked.

"It's fine," Hein said absently.

"You haven't even taken a sip," the bartender observed. "Is there a problem?"

Hein glowered, which seemed to have no effect on the bartender. "Don't you have other customers?"

"Part of a bartender's job is to listen as well as dispense drinks," the man said. "From the look of you, you need a friendly ear rather than a drink."

Hein blinked. Few people had ever wanted to listen to him. Anna had. And Aki.

"Perhaps," Hein said reluctantly. Did he really want to discuss this with a stranger? Then again, an unbiased listener might provide the best advice. If he didn't say too much. Hein doubted the man would have any compassion for a murderer.

So he began truthfully, with the death of his family in San Francisco. Hein admitted he was in the military, but implied that he wasn't allowed to say more, which was also true. Without naming anyone, he described his rivalry with Aki and her love for Gray, who had died because of the Phantoms.

Then came the hard part. Hein told the man about his amnesia, and how Aki had taken care of him and he'd ended up falling for her, but couldn't say much beyond that; only that his memory had been restored and yet he'd still had feelings for Aki. And that she'd seemed to return those feelings, or so he'd thought.

"What makes you think she doesn't love you?" the bartender asked. "So what if you were enemies once?"

Hein sighed. "It's not that simple. And if she wanted me around, why didn't she ask me to stay?"

"Perhaps out of respect for your needs. She didn't want to force into doing something you didn't want to do."

Hein snorted. "It wouldn't have been forcing me."

"Then why are you here? Seems like if you wanted to be with this girl, you should have stayed with her."

Good question. Why had he come here? He'd told himself if was out of habit, but. Did he want to be here? To be one of these drunks, forgetting everything he had, even though he finally had someone to go home to?

Hell no! "You're right. I shouldn't be here. I should at least talk to Ak - the girl." Hein fumbled in his pocket, pulling out a velvet case before finding his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"It's on the house. Is that for your girl?" the bartender asked, pointing to the box. Hein hastily stuffed it back in his coat.

"Yeah. I picked it up on the way here. And I should probably get home to give it to her for Christmas, huh?" The bartender just grinned. "Thanks, by the way," Hein said softly. "I could've used you when my wife died. You probably could have done wonders with my life." Hein gave the bartender a sad smile, then left.

* * *

Dr. Sid's home was in a small residential area of Toronto that must have been larger before the attack. It had been outside the barrier once it had been erected, so it was slightly ramshackle. Once the barrier was down, the houses around Dr. Sid's that had no owners had been bought, and the area was slowly returning to life.

It was after midnight when Hein returned, having walked most of the way there. He'd hoped to clear his head of his confused thoughts, but had only succeeded in muddling them further.

It had been years since a woman had left him so confused. He stood on the porch and stared up at the cloudy sky, blinking away the snowflakes that landed on his eyelashes. He leaned against the railing, staring out into nothingness.

"You're back early," a voice behind him said quietly. "Were all the bars closed?"

Aki stood in the doorway behind him, wearing a deep green satin robe. Her arms were folded across her chest, and there was a sardonic look on her face.

"What are you doing up?" Hein asked.

"I heard a noise and thought it might be the jolly fat man," she said.

Hein's lips quirked. "Nope. Just the broody dark man."

Aki stepped across the snowy porch to stand beside him. "I'm surprised you came back."

"I'm surprised I left," Hein told her. "I'm foolish, Aki. Too foolish to see when I'm wrong. How can you stand me?"

"Practice," Aki said, slipping a hand over his shoulder. Her fingers felt cold against his neck, and Hein removed his leather coat and draped it over her. Even after four months she still hadn't fully recovered from Gray's birth, and he didn't want her to get sick. "You have a soft side," she continued. "It's hard to hate you when you're a gentleman."

Hein snorted. So many people would disagree with her. "It's all you," he told her. Hesitantly, he stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She didn't flinch away, instead leaning into the embrace. She really did feel strongly about him!

He held her that way for a moment, then shivered. "It's a bit cold out here, isn't it?"

"I didn't ask you to give me your coat," Aki chided, and lead Hein inside.

"Are you the only one awake?" Hein asked. He could barely see her in the dim glow of the Christmas lights, but he could feel her hand hot on his.

"Yes. Gray and Dr. Sid are asleep. I. stayed up, hoping you would return."

"Aki, I'm not worth it," he warned.

"Oh?" Aki sounded as if she didn't believe him. He heard a rustling as Aki settled on the couch, then there was a yank on his arm and, caught off balance, Hein fell onto the cushions next to her.

They sat silent in the darkness for a moment, then Aki snapped the small end table lamp on. Hein blinked in the sudden light.

"I have a gift for you," she said softly. "I didn't know what to get for you - and don't give me that 'I don't deserve anything' routine - but I thought you should have this." She leaned over and snagged a package from under the tree.

"You shouldn't have," Hein said, taking the package.

She smiled wryly. "Actually, since it's already yours, it's not much of a gift."

Hein was puzzled by this remark as he unwrapped the gift, then gasped in surprise when he saw it. It was a leather-bound book; a photo album. He hadn't seen it since San Francisco had fallen.

"Where did you get this?" he breathed as he flipped through the pages, lingering over the photos of Anna and Sarah and himself from his previous life. He'd thought all the pictures were lost forever.

"It came from your house," she said quietly. She sounded as if she didn't want to say more on the matter. "It only seemed right that you should have the pictures back. Sorry I waited so long to give them to you."

"Thank you," Hein murmured. He may have started a new life, but he never wanted to forget Anna and Sarah. It had hurt him to realize he had been unable to remember how Anna smiled.

"Will you tell me about them sometime?" Aki asked. "I'd love to hear about the woman who trained you. I could use some tips."

Hein just grinned. "You're doing a good job on your own." Then his face grew serious. "I bought you something." He was reaching for his pocket when he realized he wasn't wearing his coat. "You'll have to dig it out," he said sheepishly.

Aki obliged, finding the velvet box after a few moments of fumbling. She opened it and a pleased look crossed her face. "It's lovely," she breathed.

It was a necklace, a silver chain with an exquisitely detailed pendant of a hawk in flight. "It reminded me of your tattoo," Hein said, embarrassed.

Aki flushed. The tattoo in question was on her abdomen, near her navel. It was a hawk, its wings outstretched and claws extended. But when Hein had last seen it, it had been stretched out of shape, more closely resembling a turkey. He'd laughed at it, and had felt bad for doing so.

"Would you.?" Aki asked, holding the necklace towards him, and he obligingly took it in his gloved hands and fastened it around her neck. She shivered at his touch.

"What is it?" Hein asked in alarm.

"That felt good," Aki murmured.

Hein slid his gloved fingers up her throat and caressed her cheeks. Aki sighed and shut her eyes. Encouraged, Hein moved closer. "If you don't want me to touch you." he warned. He hoped she wouldn't stop him; he wasn't sure he could stop himself.

In answer, Aki leaned in and pressed her lips to his. As always, her boldness surprised him, but he quickly recovered. She'd only kissed him once before, and he'd feared it had been a mistake.

Apparently not. He slid his hands down her shoulders, then wrapped his arms around her waist. She dug her fingers into his shoulders as he melted into her kiss.

They parted reluctantly, gasping. Hein stared into her eyes, seeing for the first time her willingness to take their relationship a step further. To forgive the past and start a new future as something more than enemies, more than friends.

Aki brushed her hand through Hein's hair, freeing it from its slicked-back confines. She twined her fingers in his white lock, tickling his chin with the ends. "You need to wear your hair loose," she murmured. "I like it better this way."

Hein grabbed her hand in his, stroking it. Then with a crooked smile, he pushed her gently back on the couch.

* * *

The sound of footsteps on the stairs jolted them out of their mood. Frantically, Aki tried to fasten her robe while Hein smoothed his own clothing. Then they peeked over the end of the couch.

"Hullo, Sid!" Aki said brightly. "Merry Christmas!"

Hein suppressed his disappointed moan. They hadn't gotten very far.

"Good morning Aki, Douglas," Dr. Sid greeted, a bemused expression on his face as he took in their rumpled clothing. Hein had to fight the urge to protest "This isn't what it looks like!"

"Why are you up so early?" Hein asked.

Dr. Sid recovered his composure. "I heard noises. I thought perhaps Gray might need something."

"He's asleep," Aki said guiltily. Just for a moment, she'd forgotten her son.

"Yeeees," Dr. Sid drawled. "I'm just going to make myself a cup of tea and go back up to bed. I don't start Christmas until a decent hour of the morning."

"Yes. You do that," Hein said. Dr. Sid quickly left the room, clearly embarrassed. They waited in silence for him to make his tea and go up to his room.

"Do you think he knows?" Aki asked with a grin.

"He'd have to be blind not to have figured it out." Hein suddenly felt mischievous. "But he's gone now, and probably won't be back for a good long while. Want to try it again?"

Aki slapped him lightly. "With Sid still awake?"

"It makes things more fun," Hein said wickedly. "I could tell you some stories."

Aki laughed. "Broom closet at the HMA?"

Hein snorted. "I have far more taste than that. It was the janitor's office."

Aki leaned forward. "I think we're too old for that sort of thing." She placed a hand on his chest.

Suddenly, a thin wail interrupted them. Hein sighed. "It's a conspiracy," he grumbled as Aki got to her feet. "Even your son is against us."

Hein watched as Aki left the room, coming back with her young son. He wondered if he would ever have the courage to try something like this again. But now that he knew Aki felt the same way, he was encouraged. She wasn't just offering him a chance at salvation, but she was offering her love as well, something he hadn't had in ages.

Too bad they couldn't take advantage of that.

"Merry Christmas, Dougie-wougie," Aki said playfully. She noticed the solemn expression on his face and said, "Don't worry. Sid can't be around all the time. After all, there's that big New Years party coming up that he just has to attend."

Hein grinned at her wolfishly. "Well, now I know what my New Years resolution is." He leaned over Gray and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Aki. Thank you. for everything."


End file.
